Laughs to Improve Communication Skills

I was going through some old computer files this afternoon and found a cute little article that I printed in one of the old notary books.  It was presented in a comical way to help you think twice the next time you send an email.  Feel free to pass it along to anyone who needs a good laugh and needs to improve their email skills.

(MY COMMENTS APPEAR IN PARENTHESES)

To give you a chuckle or two, below are some emails I received in the past that show poor email communication skills. The examples below are not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings. They are provided to help you to not make the same mistake these people did.

“I don’t like your website. What are you going to do about it?”
(Walk the floors and lose sleep I suppose.)

“If your office hours are 9:00 to 6:00, what time do you open?”
(Perhaps the answer might be 9:00.)

“I live about 8 miles north of the interstate. Do you know anyone here to help me?”
(A doctor perhaps?)

“I’m afraid to send you an email because you might print it in your publication.”
(Then don’t send one or simply state your email is confidential.)

“I forgot to give you my telephone number, but I think you would have called and told me you needed it.”
(What telephone number should we have called to tell you we did not have your telephone number?)

“Can you tell me why I’m not making any money?”
(Perhaps it is because you are spending time emailing questions to people that are impossible to answer.)

“When I hit the enter key on my computer nothing happens. What should I do?”
(Turn the power on I suppose.)

“My fax machine has not worked in over 2 months. Don’t try to fax me anything.”
(We will try to restrain ourselves.)

“I visited your website and the link didn’t work. Please tell me what to do.”
(Out of 125,000 links on our website I guess I should know the exact one this person is referring to. )

Hint: If you cannot describe your computer problem, simply press the PRINT SCREEN key on your keyboard. This will copy the screenshot in temporary memory. Now, open up a new document in Word or Wordperfect; hold down the CTRL key and press the letter “V” on your keyboard. This will automatically copy the screenshot of the computer screen. You can now send this Word or Wordperfect file to someone you are requesting tech support from and they will better understand what you are referring to and help you much faster.

“I know you said the booklet I advertised in was already printed and mailed out but would you change my email address in my ad? I switched to a new one.”
(What part of “already printed and mailed out” doesn’t this person understand?)

“Did you just send me an email? I don’t think I received one from you and I wasn’t expecting any.”
(I still don’t understand this one.)

“Would you send me a fax between 10:15 am and 6:38 pm? I will wait for it to come.  If you don’t send it I will sue you.”
(I wonder what law I would be charged with violating? I also am still wondering what I am supposed to fax this person.)

“I live about 15 miles north of Steven’s Mountain. Can I become a notary?”
(Is Steven’s Mountain located in the United States?)

“Did you get my order?”
(No name, address or other information was provided.)

“Do U 4see me makin $ at this?”
(This person must be stuck in “chat mode.” This was the actual spelling from a “suppose to be” professional legal person.)

“Yesterday I sent you an email from the library because my computer at home is not working. Please don’t read that email. Read this one instead.”
(Okay.)

Reprinted from the book: How to Start, Operate and Market a Freelance Notary Signing Agent Business, Fifth Edition, ISBN: 0-9761591-04, February 27, 2007

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